Unlike a normal profession with regular hours and pay, the irregularity of horse training with the unpredictability of horses and the ups and downs of being self-employed can cause a high level of stress. At times, staying focused and happy in the profession can be a challenge for any trainer.

We asked eight trainers, with over 250 combined years in the business, over $2 million in National Snaffle Bit Association earnings and too many World and Congress Championships to count, to offer advice over the next few months on everything from the physical toll training takes on your body to reinventing yourself to keep up with the changes in the industry, all while making a living as a professional horse trainer.

Here in part two of our five-part series, six of our experts share their tips on how to best emotionally handle the business. They discuss the importance of having a family life and making time for non horse-related activities. Taking that simple step helps them maintain their sanity and deal with the stress that comes along with being a professional horse trainer.

The Parrish Family

Growing up in the horse business, Bret Parrish, of Pavo, Georgia, knew from the very beginning that he wanted to be a trainer even though his dad, long-time successful trainer and judge, Kiff Parrish had other hopes for his son.

“My dad always wanted me to do something else,” he says. “But I think if you have that love for it no matter what then I think you will be successful at it.”

Now Bret is sharing his business with son, Cody and wife, Candy.

“I don’t think people in general understand how hard you have to work at this,” he says. “For some people, horses are just a part of their life. I have seen it with my two boys. Cody has always had a love for the horses while Chase never really connected with horses that way, but he did with sports. Football has really been his thing.”

In working with his wife and son, Bret says it is essential to keep home life and business separate.

“When we come in the house, we leave the barn at the barn,” he says. “I advise keeping business at the barn and not dwelling on business during family time at the house.”

Although Bret says his family has not been able to take a lot of vacations, they do try to take day trips here and there for some downtime.

Bret, Candy and Cody at one of Chase’s football games

“We have used Chase’s football games as a good getaway for the family,” he says. “We have even helped with camps and have tried to be very involved. We have been able to schedule our shows around Chase a little bit. Our customers have been very understanding and supportive of Chase’s career.”

Besides being a mom and dad, Bret says he and Candy have tried to be friends to their sons and believes having good communication with them has been a real key in raising them right. He also credits their Christian faith in helping to keep their family grounded.

“We take Sundays off and go to church,” he says. ” It has really helped keep the family core together and we use it as a day to just catch a breath. For some people horses are a hobby but for horse trainers it can consume your whole life. With horses you are on call 24 hours a day. You can’t just clock in and clock out like other jobs so you do need some downtime.”

Randy Wilson turkey hunting

When he started out, Randy Wilson of Zanesville, Ohio admits he did not take much time for anything but horses. Now that he’s learned his trade and gained confidence he feels more comfortable taking time to unwind with his family.

“I think it keeps you from burning out,” he says.

“Just do something that you love to do and let your brain go blank for awhile. I think it helps you keep a better attitude. I know a lot of people who don’t take the time and they end up having a bad attitude toward their profession and their horses.”

Although the horse show schedule is pretty packed every year for Randy, he does try to take time here and there when it’s appropriate to hunt and fish with his son, Chase. He also very much enjoys watching Chase, who recently turned professional, play golf.

Randy and wife, Shelley, along with Chase and daughter, Whitney, have kept their family core centered by always trying to do something together like visiting family or going on day trips.

“I have taught my kids lessons about life from what I have learned from the horses,” he says. “We have tried to instill things like staying with it, keeping your composure and remembering tomorrow is a new day.”

Some of the best advice Troy Compton of Purcell, Oklahoma ever got was to be passionate about what you do whatever that may be and you will be happy in life.

“It’s got to be in your DNA,” he says. “The day you don’t want to get up and get out in the barn is the day you should quit doing this. If you can’t go to the barn and look at your horses in the eye and it doesn’t tug at your heart or you don’t feel compassion toward the animal then you shouldn’t be doing this.”

In fact, Troy finds an escape from the real world every day when he is training his horses. In these moments, he says he doesn’t worry about anything else.

“We are paid to create magic,” he says. “The stress of the job boils down to how good you want to be.”

For a time, Troy did enjoy competing in Motocross events but admits when he was really into it he did loose a little focus from his horses.

He now enjoys attending the occasional sporting event for a change in pace and says he loves to be behind the scenes seeing all the preparation it takes to compete whether in the pits or behind the bucking chutes.

Dale Livingston at a church event

“I have an addiction to great horses. They are so mystical,” he says. “While we help create them, they are truly a work of art. You need to have a love for horses. I have seen so many guys do this to be famous not because they really love the horses and they have just ended up miserable. If you don’t feel like these horses are your family then don’t choose this profession.”

As a youngster, Dale Livingston of Boerne, Texas was a horrible student because all he wanted to do was be with horses. He says emotionally horses were his outlet.

Through the years, a lot of different things in his life lead him up to being introduced to his faith in God, which has helped him through a lot of tough spots in the business.

“I was at the World Show with Kay Cee Leaguer and I was looking through the program and just like the great horses that have come along in my life which I knew were special, the same feeling came over me when I found this page that read Cowboys For Christ,” he says. “I had never gone to church and I didn’t come from a church background but I attended that Sunday at the World Show. Since I was saved, my faith keeps me grounded.”

Through the years, Dale has kept his faith and has focused on having good horses. He advises young trainers to really aim at having the very best livestock they can to be successful in this business.

“Good livestock is what has kept me going and you have to have the guts to bet on what you believe in,” he says.

For Troy Oakley of Pilot Point, Texas one of the hardest parts of being a horse trainer has been being able to find a balance between work and play. When he started in the business, he spent all of his time working on his horses.

“To be good you have to really go for it in this business and it is really more hours than most people realize,” he says. “To be able to compete at the top, it is really hard to do anything else like have a hobby. I tried playing golf for awhile and I got so competitive wanting to play golf that my horses started to suffer so I had to quit playing!”

Troy and Tate Oakley at Tab’s graduation

Even without having any real hobbies, Troy says he has started to take more time for himself in trying to enjoy different places while at horse shows.

“It’s really hard to find that balance for me. I have just learned what balance even is,” he says. “You know I have been all these places with the horses but have never actually gone to see anything besides the horse show. So we started taking a day here and there to go see things that I would like to see. In my early years, I would never have even thought about taking the time.”

Since Jon Barry of Advance, Missouri went into business for himself over 35 years ago, he has never wanted to do anything else.

“You have got to pay your dues,” he says. “A lot of young guys think because they put a lot of effort and work into it, they are entitled to it. To be successful, it also takes a lot of luck and good breaks along the way. This business has been great to me. It’s great customers and horses that made me.”

Jon suggests taking the highs with the lows and says as a trainer even if things don’t go well you have to know that you are doing the very best job you can do.

“You can win the World Show this afternoon and at the very next horse show have bad draws and have lows,” he says. “You have to do this for the self-satisfaction and know that you are doing the best job you can on that particular horse.”

In addition, Jon suggests seeking advice from your peers that you know and respect if you get in a jam.

“Don’t let things that bother you just ball up with family, help or customers,” he says. “Sit down and talk it out. If there is a problem, address it.”

Even after all these years, Jon still works on Sundays, saddles a lot of his own horses and cleans some of his own stalls.

He has been on about three vacations in all his years as a trainer, but often goes to watch his daughter, Marty compete in Barrel Racing for a change in pace from the pleasure horse industry. He also enjoys rebuilding old cars and trucks.

“With family, you just have to communicate to get through the rough times of the business,” he says. “Just getting mad doesn’t solve anything.”

All in all, Jon’s best advice for staying happy as a horse trainer is to keep your ego intact.

“Do this because you love putting a saddle on a horse every day not because of wanting to win a prize,” he says. “Winning has been great but it happened because the horses were willing to let me train them.”